Why is it that Women in Rwanda cannot marry?
Alexandre Kimenyi
California State University at Sacramento

In Kinyarwanda, there are a lot of verbs especially the ones which refer to sex or marriage which don't allow females as candidates to subjecthood because women are not seen as agents or partners but rather as patients. In this same language, there are also words that married women cannot utter (taboo language). This linguistic restriction and lack of freedom are also seen in other aspects of the culture of this partiarchal society.
These observations support the old Whorf-Sapir hypothesis that indeed not only does language reflect culture but also affects the culture as well, in shaping the way people think and consequently how they behave.

A. Gender in Kinyarwanda

Kinyarwanda, like other Bantu languages, doesn't have grammatical gender but has 16 grammatical classes which have been grammaticized: There are no more semantic considerations for nouns to be included in those specific classes, except class 1 and 2 (singular and plural) respectively, which are still exclusively for human beings only. There are times, however, when a feminine marker is used to derive female nouns . The suffix -kazi which in many Bantu languages means 'woman' is used for this purpose:

1. umuhutú --->umuhutúkazi 'hutu'
umutuutsi---->umutuutsikazi 'tutsi'
umwáarimú-->umwáarimúkazi 'teacher'
umuforoma--->umuforomakazi 'nurse'
umunyarwaanda-->umunyarwaandakazi 'rwandan'
umunyáameriká--->umunyáamerikákazi 'american'
umwaámi ---->umwaámikazi 'king'
umugabé ---->umugabékazi 'monarch'/'queen-mother'

The use of this suffix is very limited, however. It is restricted to some terms of nationalities, ethnic groups and professions. When it is necessary to identify the gender, the associative construction with umugoré 'woman' as a modifier is used instead:

2. umugaanga w'úmugoré 'a female doctor'
umushófeéri w'úmugoré 'a female driver'
umuperezida w'úmugoré 'a female president'

Animals' gender is not marked, either. The noun refers either to the male or female animal. The only exceptions are imbwá 'dog' whose feminine counterpart is imbwáakazi and chicken inkokó whose feminine form is also inkokókazi.. In the case of imbwáakazi, however, the meaning is not 'female dog' but is used as an insult to a female human being. This is equivalent to 'bitch' in English.

The only words which are marked for masculine gender are the ones in (3) with the suffix -rume which in many Bantu languages mean 'man':
3. nyokórume 'your mother's brother' (nyoko 'your mother')
isekúrume 'male goat'
impweerume 'male dog'

In rituals, such as divination, initiation, wedding, coronation of a new king, burials, etc. certain objects are given gender, masculine or feminine It is interesting to note that good objects, the ones associated with positive influence are classified as masculine and objects associated with evil forces as female. This is very much similar to the Chinese yin and yang concepts. In the yin and yang school, objects and natural phenomena are classified into two categories. The yin category is feminine and has negative influence whereas the yang category is masculine and has positive influence. Likewise in Kinyarwanda masculinized objects are also good and feminized objects are bad.

4. uruyúzi rw'úrugoré 'bad dice in divination which falls on the leftside'
uruyúzi rw'úrugabo 'good dice in divination which falls on the right'

A clear distinction is made in names, however. The majority of female names are derived from male names by adding feminine prefixes: These feminine prefixes are mukáa-, nyirá- and káa-: Rwandan names are discussed at great length in Kimenyi, 1989.

5. Nkusi ---> Mukankusi.
Mazimpaka --->Mukamazimpaka
Ntabana --->Mukantabana
Manzi --->Mukamanzi

Kimonyo ---> Nyirakimonyo
Bagenzi ---> Nyirababenzi
Karangwa --->Nyirakarangwa

Kigeri ---> Nyirakigeri
Yuhi ---> Nyirayuhi
Mibambwe --->Nyiramibambwe

inyaánge 'royal bird' --->Kanyange [kaanyaánge]
inkuyo 'cow's brush' --->Kankuyo [káankuyo]
amabéra 'pearls' --->Kamabera [kaamabéra]

These names and the feminine forms clearly indicate that eventhough Kinyarwanda is not a gender language, still it is a male dominated language because the masculine form is the unmarked one and the feminine the marked one since it is always derived from the unmarked form, the masculine.

B. Selectional Restrictions:

In Kinyarwanda, a lot of verbs , especially those which refer to courting and sexual activities such as kuroongora 'to marry', gusaba 'to be engaged', gukwá 'to give a dowry', kuráambagiza 'to visit somebody one wants to marry', gutoongoza 'to seduce', gucyúura 'to marry a married person', guhárika 'to have two or more spouses', kuréshya 'to seduce', kwíirukana 'to repudiate a spouse', guséenda 'to repudiate a spouse because of misconduct', kweenda 'to have sex', ... never accept females as their subjects. The female can be the subject of these types of verbs only in the passive form.

6. Yohaáni yaróongoye Mariyá. "John married Mary"
John married Mary
*Mariyá yaróongoye Yohaáni."Mary married John"
Mary married John
Mariyá yaróongowe na Yóhaáni. "Mary got married to John"
Mary was married by Jon
*Yohaáni yaróongowe na Máriyá. "John got married to Marry"
John was married by Mary

7. Yohaáni yasabye Mariyá. "John got engaged to Mary"
John got-engaged-to Mary
*Mariyá yasabye Yohaáni. "Mary got engaged to John"
Mariyá yasabwe na Yóhaáni. "Mary is engaged to John"
*Yohaáni yasabwe na Mariyá. "John is engaged to Mary"

8. Yohaáni yatóongoje Mariyá. "John seduced Mary".
John seduced Mary
*Mariyá yatóongoje Yohaáni. "Mary seduced John".
Mariyá yatóongojwe na Yóhaáni. "Maary was seduced by John".
*Yohaáni yatóongojwe na Máriyá. "John was seduced by Mary".

9. Yohaáni yakóoye Mariyá inka ebyiri. "John gave a dowry of two cows for Mary".
John gave dowry Mary cows two
*Mariyá yakóoye Yohaáni inká ebyiri. "Mary gave a dowry of two cows for John".
Mariyá yakóowe inká ebyiri na Yóhaáni. "Two cows were given for Mary's dowry by John".
*Yohaáni yakoowe inká ebyiri na Máriyá. "Two cows were given for John's dowry by Mary".
The verb gusáambana 'to have an affair' can have a female subject because it already has an intrinsic reciprocal morpheme -an- [ku-sáamb-an-a], but when the causative morpheme -y- is added to it to show the agent (the one who initiated the action), a female is no longer a candidate for subjecthood.

10. Yohaáni yasáambanye na Máriyá. "John committed adultery with Mary".
Mariyá yasáambanye na Yóhaáni. "Mary committed adultery with John".
Yohaáni yasáamban(y)ije Mariyá ."John had an affair with Mary".
*Mariyá yasáamban(y)ije Mariyá. "Mary had an affair with John".
Mariyá yasáamban(y)ijwe na Yóhaáni. "Mary got into an affair with John".
*Yohaáni yasáamban(y)ijwe na Máriyá. "John got into an affair with Mary".

It is also interesting to note that these verbs which prohibit the female as subject, never allow subject-object reversal which exists in this language:

11a. Yoháani arasoma igitabo. "John is reading a book".
John is-reading book
b. Igitabo kirasoma Yohaáni. "John is reading the book".
book is-reading John
12a. Yohaáni yaróongoye Mariyá. "John married Mary".
John married Mary
b. *Mariyá yaróongoye Yohaáni. "John married Mary".

The reason why nouns referring to females are not allowed to be subjects of the types of verbs mentioned above, it is because as noted earlier, in this society a woman is denied the role of agent. As a girl she receives orders and advice from her parents and as a wife she is supposed to bear children for her busband and to serve him.
She is not allowed to show initiative or active participation. As the following proverb shows, a woman is not even permitted to show her sexual desires:
13. Umushyúuko w'úmukoóbwa ushirira mu matáko.
erection of girl ends in buttocks
"A girl's erection ends in her thighs".
Note, however, that the verb kubéenga 'to reject a marriage proposal' can have a female subject:

14. Mariyá yabéenze Yoháani. 'Mary rejected John'
Mary rejected John
Yohaáni yabéenze Mariyá 'John rejected Mary'
Yohaáni yabéenzwe na Mariyá. 'John was rejected by Mary'
Mariyá yabéenzwe na Yóhaáni. 'Mary was rejected by John'.

Eventhough, this verb allows female subjects , it is still not considered good by the society for a girl to reject marriage proposals. She may end up by not get married at all;
kugumirwa 'to become a spinster' is the worst thing that can happen to a girl.
As far as sex and marriage are concerned, the language which is male dominated talks more or only about the man'experience thus ignoring that of the woman.

C. Taboo language

The taboo language or prohibition language is also restricted to women. There is a linguistic behavior called gutsíinda in Kinyarwanda which prohibits women from saying parents-in-law's names. If the husband has uncles who are married, the wife cannot utter the names of those uncles and their respective wives, either, because they are all considered as fathers and mothers-in-law. This practice extends also to words which might have sounds similar to the ones found in those names. To refer to these homonymous words, the woman has to use synonyms or create her own words. Below some examples are presented and substitutions for them are given in the right column.

15. umugoré'woman/wife' --->umuheté 'the mother who has given birth to the second child'
umukoóbwa 'girl' ---->umurobáanurwa 'the selected one'
umugabo 'man' --->umugaanji 'winner of the war'/umugomóke
gutabaara 'to go to war'---->kujamiira
urutaro 'winnower' ---->urugósoozo
umunaáni 'inheritance'--->umugomóke
Imáana 'god'--->Ingomóke
inká 'cow' ---->ingabé 'royal cow'
akanyamasyo 'turtle' --->ingágará
izúuru 'nose' --->itoónde
ihené 'goat' ---intuúngwa 'domesticated animal'/ impimá 'Hima cow'

Rwanda is a patriarchal society in which the wife has to abandon her family and become part of her husband's family. The children belong to the husband or his family, unless the husband has not officially married or has not given dowry. Since it is an extended family, she is referred to by her husband's "brothers" who may include all his parallel cousins, namely his half-brothers, his father's brother's sons and his mother's sister's sons as umugoré wáacu "our wife", because any of these can marry her if the husband dies or be her lover since there is no sex taboo between the wife and the husband's brother in this society. Thus the proverb:

16. Umugoré mwiizá ataabá uwáawé yaaba uwa múkuru waawe.
woman good if-she-is-not yours she-should-be of older-brother of you
'A good woman should be yours or your older brother's'

She refers to any of them also as umugabo wáacu "our husband". It is the reason why, when referring to the marriage of somebody, instead of identifying the husband, the speaker may mention the family, the lineage, the clan or the region as in seen below.

17 Mariyá yaróongowe mu Bubirigi. "Mary was married in Belgium"
Mariyá yaróongowe mu Babirigi."Mary was married among the Belgians"
Mariyá yaróongowe n'Ababirigi. "Mary was married by the Belgians"
Mariyá yasháatse inzu mu Bubirigi. "Mary looked for a house (husband) in Belgium"
Mariyá yasháatse inzu mu Babirigi. "Mary looked for a house (husband) among the Belgians"

If a woman happens to say her parents-in-law's names by accident, she has to be cleansed by drinking a ritual medicine called "isúbyo" . Since this society consists of extended families, the wife's parents-in-law can number hundreds. Not only is she forbidden to say the parents of the present husband including all the husband's father's wives since polygamy was practicised in Rwanda, but also those of her former husbands. The husband's father's brothers are also considered as her fathers-in-law as are all their respective wives and their respective sisters who are also her mothers-in-law. More on kinship terms see Kimenyi 1978. Because of this linguistic taboo, there are hundreds of words that the daugther-in-law has to delete from her vocabulary. A woman who gives birth to twins, like in many Bantu cultures, is not subject to this linguistic avoidance anymore.

This complex linguistic taboo is made easier by the following facts:
(i). The wife's sisters-in-law (husband's brothers' wives): They use the same name to refer to their parents-in-law and use the same words to refer to objects or concepts which have sounds similar to the parents-in-law's names.
(ii). To avoid using words which are homonymous with the in-law's names, synonymous words from regional dialects of Kinyarwanda can be used.
(iii). There exist jargons that the speaker can borrow from such as the blacksmith language, the language of decoration, the sports language (especially igisoro: African chess) ...
(iv) The hunting language. The latter ressembles very much the taboo language and has a very extensive vocabulary. It was used to refer to animals or other hunting activities mostly to avoid bad luck such as being killed by the animal, or being shot by other hunters, having been mistaken for an animal, or to trick the animals because they might hear or understand what the hunters' plans are. Thus , gazelle 'ishá' is called nyamwaanga-zígeenda 'the one who doesn't like to see them (cows)leave' and partridge 'inkwaáre becomes intábaambwá 'the one that cannot be crucified' 1
(iv). Euphemisms: The language user can also borrow words from euphemisms. The most used ones are activities referring to the cow, 'the country's cultural icon' or the king. For instance, parts of the king's body are referred to by special words, and his actions and activities require special words also: igisaabo 'king's stomach' (milk container); inyuundo 'king's leg' (hammer); kwíibaambura 'to wake up' (gukaanguka); gutabaara 'to die' (to go to war); umugogó 'king's corpse' (big tree); iseembe 'king's behind' (instead of ikibúno)...
(v). Ritualistic language: The language of divination, initiation, coronation is also different from everyday language. It can also be used in the taboo language.
(vi). Poetic language: There are three types of poetry in Kinyarwanda: the dynastic poetry (praise for kings), panegyric poetry (praises for national heroes and great warriors) and pastoral poetry (praises for elite cows).
(vii). Praise-names: In traditional Rwandan society, many people had praise-names. The daugher-in-law would thus refer to her parents-in-law by these names. These praise-names
are discussed at great length in both Kimenyi 1989&1990 namely, Kinyarwanda and Kirundi Names: A Semiotic Analysis of Bantu Onomastics. New York: The Edwin Mellen Press and U Rwanda Rugari rwa Gasabo: Praise-Poems of Kings, Heroes and Great Warriors of the Ancient Kingdom of Rwanda. Sacramento: Pan-Africa Publications.

(viii). The introduction of Christianity has facilitated this linguistic taboo also because the daugher-in-law can refer to her husband's parents with their Christian names.
It is thus becoming easier now to refer to them because a lot of people have been baptized. The other way to refer to the parents-in-law is to say "the mother of so", usually using the name of one of the youngest child. The speaker can also use the praise-names or she can create a new name which will be understood by everybody.

When a woman is also talking about her husband, she always uses the polite form which is the same as the plural form.

18. Arashaaka ku-bá-vugiisha 'S/he wants to talk to you'. (Polite)
Arashaaka ku-kú-vugiisha 'S/he wants to talk to you' (Regular)
Nti-ba-harí. 'He is not here'. (Polite)
Nt-aa-harí. 'He is not here'. (Regular)
Mu-ra-garuka ryáarí? 'When are you coming back?' (Polite)
U-ra-garuka ryáarí? 'When are you coming back?' (Regular)

These taboos are not ofcourse restricted to language alone but are also found in other aspects of Rwandan culture:
Women, for instance, are not allowed to whistle, hence the word igikóobwakóobwa
(a type of whistle used to excite cows when they are drinking: Since this type of whistle is different from the regular whistle, it is attributed to women because they didn't know how to do it properly). Women are not allowed to build or fix houses or compound-fences; women are not allowed to milk cows; women are forbidden from closing or opening the compound-fence gate; women are not allowed to cut firewood; women don't jumb (hence the proverb: Umugoré arabyína ntaasiimbúka ('A woman danses, she doesn't jump') meaning like a woman has to behave like a lady. Women are not allowed to tend cattle or take the cattle to the well (Umugoré w'umupfú akubitirwa kw'iibúga: 'A stupid woman is beaten at the cow's well' meaning that she brings herself problems because she is not supposed to be there in the first place).
If a woman doesn't have a husband or male children to do these activities for her, she asks help from the neighbors.
These taboos clearly make her dependent on man. These husbandless women are also called indushyi 'destitute'.
Umwana w'umugoré agira akamero ntaagira akamaro 'The child of a woman (without a husband) has looks, but lacks use'. An unmarried woman is not a complete human being.

In the Rwandan culture, a lot of people believe in bad luck. Certain individuals, not because of supernatural power or individual bad intentions find themselves causing bad luck to other people by talking to them or interacting with them. Certain families or clans are also considered as triggers of this bad luck and the target is supposed to be people from outside who interact with them.
Women are also the only ones who are blamed to belong to the wrong or bad clans. Those who come from the Abacyaba and Abashingwe clans, eventhoug they happen to be very beautiful, have difficulty finding husbands because they are supposed to be triggers of bad luck not only to the husband but to all his extended family.

Not only does the woman have a secondary citizen status but in some cases, is she considered as other domestic servants. A woman who is looking for a husband is said to 'be looking for a home'gushaaka inzu or 'looking for a master' gushaaka ubuhaké. A woman who has had problems finding a husband is said 'not to find a home/house' kubúra amazu and the one who keeps having marital problems and therefore has had many divorces is said 'to have problems with homes/houses' kunanirwa n'ámazu . A woman who works hard to please her husband is said to 'have broken houses' gucá amazu 'and the one who has been going from husband to husband is said to 'have finished homes' kumara amazu . It is also revealing to note the language which refers to her. The cattle vocabulary is used. If a wife runs away from her husband, this is referred to as kwáahuk(an)a (kwáahuka 'to go out to graze') and when the husband goes to her family to bring her back, this is referred to as gucyúura 'to bring back the cattle home'. The same expression is also used to mean to marry a woman who has already been married.
Idiomatic expressions which have 'man' in them have a positive connotation but those which have 'woman' have a negative connotation. Thus kubá umugabo 'to be a man' means to be brave as in Uyu mugoré ni umugabo 'This woman is a man (courageous)'2. But gukóra kigoré 'to do like a woman' means to do things ackwardly' as in Yohaáni akora kigoré 'John does things like a woman (ackwardly)'. The expressions gukóra iyó (ubugabo) bwaábaga (to touch where manhood used to be) 'to do one's best/to try'; gutwáaza ubugabo (to carry with/to use manhood) 'to refuse to give up'; gukóra kigabo (to act manly) 'to do correctly'; gukúbita kigabo (to hit like a man) 'to hit with force'; kugéna kigabo (to decide like a man) 'to take a correct and final decision'. To name somebody as a witness in court or anybody who can give testimony or corroborate a story is gutáangaho umugabo 'to name somebody a man' as in Mariyá ni wé Yohaáni atáangahó umugabo 'Mary is the one that John presents as his witness'3. This is so because, tradionally women could not act as witnesses. Only men could.

The pop culture especially folk music, folk literature such as anecdotes, jokes, riddles and folktales are full of comments and statements which are deragatory to women. In folktales, the cruel step-mother, the stupid wife, the virago called by the deragatory term igishéegabo 'she-man' exemplified and typified by the person of Nyirarunyonga are common and very popular motifs in Kinyarwanda folktales.. Nyirarunyonga is not the conventional woman. She breaks all the taboos and behaves like a man.
Below some proverbs taken at random are provided to show what the pop culture thinks of the woman.
The woman is like a child, immature, irresponsible and not realistic, she is materialistic, ungrateful and stupid:

19. Uútaazí umugomé aharira umugoré urugó.
who-doesn't-know bad-person trusts woman house 'He who doesn't know a bad person trusts his house to a woman'.
Meaning: "You should not confide important things to a woman'

Uútaazí umugaambaanyi yiriingira umugoré.
who-doesn't-know traitor trusts woman
'He who doesn't know a traitor trusts a woman'

Umugoré gitó agutatira agúseguye.
woman ungrateful betrays-you using-her-arm-as-your-pillow
'An ungrateful woman betrays you while you are together in bed'
Meaning: "Your enemies are your trusted friends"

Umugoré umukamira impéenda, impíinduká yaazá akabariza imbere yé.
woman you-milk-for-her many-cows consequence when-it-comes she-asks in- front of-
'You give plenty of milk to a woman but when disagreement arises she confronts you right away'
Meaning: "Few people are gratefull'

Ukubóko k'úmugoré gucura uk'úmugabo arí kó kugukamíra.
hand of wife gets-larger-share-of-food-than that-of husband being it that-milks- for-it
'The wife's hand gets more food than the husband's eventhough if it is the latter which brings food home'.
Meaning: "People take things for granted without realizing that it is not that easy to get them"

Intáazí y'ágasóre ikamira umugoré.
a non-experienced young-man milks-for woman
'An inexperienced young man feeds a woman'

Uruvúga nyirágoré ntirugoráma.
the-one-which-talks-about woman it-does-not-bend
'The tongue which talks about a woman never bends'
"It is easy to criticize somebody else".

Inzímuzi y'úmugoré ntireengá umuhana.
a gossiper of woman doesn't-reach-beyong neighborhood
"A person with bad character cannot have many friends"

Umugoré w'úmupfú ntaaburá inzu imfúubyi ziríhó.
woman stupid doesn't-lack-house orphans when-they-exist
'A stupid woman doesn't lack husband when orphans are around'
Meaning: "A poor person doesn't have choice"

Umugoré w'úmupfú agirango mukeebá yaagabuye.
woman of stupid thinks-that co-spouse fed
'A stupid wife thinks that her husband's other wife had given dinner (to her husband)'.
Meaning: "Never take anything for granted"

Umugoré w'úmupfú ateeka bwíije umugabo akamuhiinduka atíihíinduye.
woman stupid cooks when-night-falls husband beats-her she-doesn't- -herself
'A stupid woman cooks very late and when the husband gets angry at her, she remains unchanged'.
Meaning: "It is hard to change somebody's character"

Umugoré w'úmupfú amena ibaanga rimukamíye.
woman stupid breaks secret which-gives-her-milk
'A stupid woman reveals the secret of her wealth'

Umugoré amenya ay'úmukazáana muu nkiíke ntaamenyá ay'úmukoóbwa muu mpiínga.
woman knows of daugther-in-law in corner-of- he-compound-fence she-does-not
know of daughter on hill
'A woman knows about her daughter-in-law's problems next door unaware of her daughter's (married) on the top of the hill'.
Meaning: "People notice quickly others' problems without being aware of their own".

Umugoré w'úmwuuga yishiima yíikoze muu nda.
woman of profession (poisining) becomes-happy when-she-touches-herself in stomach
'A witch congratulates herself when she poisons her own children'
Meaning: "It is only when you also become victim of somebody's misdeed that you realize that what you did to somebody else was not good".

Umugoré umwiita inká ya Rwogera waarimúkuura akagukuura mu rugo.
woman you-call-her cow of Rwogera if-you-take-it-back she-kicks-you-out of compound
'If you praise a woman and then stop she kicks you out of the house'.
Meaning: "It is not good to make promises you cannot keep"

Umugoré abyaara uwáawé ntaabá uwáawé.
woman gives-birth-to yours she-doesn't-become yours
'A woman gives birth to your children but she is not yours'.

Umugoré w'íngaáre agirwa n'úmugóongo w'úmuhoro.
woman difficult is-tamed by back of machete
'A difficult woman understands the language of beating only'.

Agahúgu karímó indushyi, abapfú ntíbaburá amazu.
country in-which-they-are miserable-people, stupid (women) don't-lack houses
'In a country where there are destitute people, stupid women find husbands easily'

Umugoré mukina agúkiinze umutíma waatebá akagutaambuuka ajyá gushaaka imbere yé.
woman you-play-together hiding-you heart when-you-get-tired she jumps-you going to-look-for in-front of-her
'You play with your wife hiding you her love but when you get tired she jumps over you going to look for other lovers'.
Meaning: "There is no way you can be sure whether a woman loves you or not"

Akabúza umukoóbwa inzu, arakageendana.
what-prevents girl house he-walks-with-it
'The cause which prevents a girl from finding a husband never leaves her'
Meaning: "It is almost impossible for a person to change his or her character".

Amóoshya y'úmugoré aseenya inzu.
bad-advice of wife destroys house
'Ill-advice of a wife destroys the family'.

Indúurú y'úmugoré iseenya umudugúdu.
noise of woman destroys neighborhood
'The screams of a wife destroy the neighborhood'

Umwíijuto n'ámatsiko byiíshe umugoré ukúze.
satiety and curiosity killed woman old
'Satiety and curiosity killed an old woman'

Umugoré abarirwa imbyáaro ntaabarírwa amazu.
woman is-talked-about children she-is-not-talked-about houses
'It is irrelevant to talk about how many husbands a woman has had but how many children she has had instead'.
Meaning: "The most important thing that should matter is not the woman's character but whether she can bear you children"

Gukúbita umugoré utaákooye ni uguhanira rubaanda.
to-beat wife that-you-have-not-given-a dowry it-is to-educate-for others
'It is useless to beat a wife for whom you have not paid the dowry because you are doing it for others'.

Urubaánza rwoonka umugabo, ntírwoonká umugoré.
family-business sucks husband, doesn't-suck wife
'Family businesses are affairs of husbands not wives'

Ingabo y'úmugoré iragushoora ntíigukúura ku rugaámba.
shield of wife takes-you-to it-doesn't-bring-you-back from battlefield
'The wife's shield causes you to go to war, it doesn't bring you back'.
Meaning: "A woman cannot give you good advice".

Ntaa mugoré ugíra ijaambo.
there-is-no woman who-has word
'A woman's word is worthless'

Umugoré ni nk'îhené bayizirika ahó amatovu arí.
woman is like goat they-tie-it where thorny plants are
'A woman is like a goat, you tie it next to the thorny plant 'umutovu'.
Meaning: "A woman is like a child, she sometimes needs spanking"

Umugoré urí ku mutibá ntaaburá umutíma.
woman who-is on attic doesn't-lack heart
'A woman who sees wealth doesn't refuse you love'.
Meaning: "Women are materialistic"

This inequality and lack of freedom are also seen in other aspects of the culture:
She is always considered second to her husband. In social functions, such as family disputes, she cannot speak for herself. Somebody else has to do it for her.

Conclusion:

Some of the comments made here are only valid for the traditional culture because certain aspects have changed. Some of the cultural prohibitions are no longer enforced. The language such as the idioms and the proverbs shown here are still in full use and the grammar has not changed, however.
There are certain linguistic expressions which are used mostly or only by women. This is noted mostly in the use of expressions of interjections and ideophones and words which refer to the adressee. Thus expessions such as yeekoóyo wé, yeemaáma wé, maáma Bikíra Mariyá wé, ... as interjections or swear words are used more by women than men. Intimate expressions such as nyabúsa 'poor one', nyagúcwa , diísi 'dear', nyakúnyagwa 'the ought-to-be dispossessed one', ...which refer to the adressee are used only by women. Women also have tendency to use emotive words and hyperboles. No detailed study has been done yet on this subject, however. The woman is still considered as a second class citizen and the language not only provides testimony to the deprivation of her human and civil rights but also reinforces and perpetuates this deplorable status. To have a faster change, a languistic revolution has also to occur very soon.

Notes

1. All hunting societies seem to use the taboo language when referring to wild or game animals. In Middle English the bear was referred as bruin 'the brown one'.
2. Compare this to English virtue 'high moral principles' from vir-tue 'quality of being a man vir 'man' in Latin.
3. Note also the association in English between testimony 'witness account' and testicle 'witness or evidence of virility' from latin testis 'witness'.

References

Jacob, I. (1985). Dictionnaire Rwandais-Français. Tome I, Tome II, Tome III.
Butare: Rwanda. Institut National de Recherche Scientifique.

Kimenyi, A. (1978). An Ethnolinguistic Analysis of Kinyarwanda Kinship Terms. 6th Annual Meeting of the California Linguistic Association. Sacramento, California.
Kimenyi, A. (1989). Kinyarwanda and Kirundi Names: A Semiolinguistic Analysis of Bantu Onomastics. New York: The Edwin Mellen Press.
Kimenyi, A. (1990). U Rwanda Rugari rwa Gasabo: Praise-Poems of Kings, National Heroes and Great Warriors of the Ancient Kingdom of Rwanda. Sacramento: Pan-Africa Publications.
Crépeau, P.&A.Bizimana. (1988). Proverbes du Rwanda. Butare: Institut National de Recherche Scientifique.